Humor in the Third Person Perspective

Earlier, I was in the lib with Jean (Martelino) writing on the card things that come with the books–the thing where you write your name, student number, and college on–and I came upon a name that more or less resembled mine. OK, we have the same first name and it made me uncomfortable like hell. I SEEM to not like it when I learn someone has the same name as I and I would like to know what you have to say about this, concerned blog-hopper/walang-magawang-napadpad-sa-blog-ko.

I also read in Bianca L Canoza’s blog something about the impression that what you do isn’t really what you intend but what you want to show people that you can do or what you want to prove to yourself. It’s complicated and I can’t explain it well but it bothers me much, making me, an already paranoid teenager, even more paranoid. 

I also want to mention that I hate the fact that we only have two weeks worth of Philo 1 meetings: 6 meetings. Six *mura*ing meetings and no more Mr. Nicolo Masakayan who usually is the highlight of my MWFs. I would like to beat myself up for mentioning that. And prevent myself from ranting about My Solitude in LB again.

Si Roy pagtatawanan nanaman ako.

I’m supposed to be in this PC shop to type and finally put an end to the misery that is writing a philosophical paper about this play Subtext, but to no *mura*ing avail. (I don’t swear.) I’m going to complain about having to do it instead.

It’s a *mura*ing stupid play! It’s lame and weak and mainstream and stupid! It has three segments: one about an adult couple with Makati-office-jobs and their differences when it comes to text messaging, another about a college boy courting a high school girl through text messaging, and the last about an old married couple and a set of rather confusing love/hatemail unsent. The last one I really don’t get because — dem, ok. I just wasn’t paying attention. It was 9 in the evening and I was tired and the segment was all reading letters in full Filipino and you should know I really can’t stand such things without not paying attention, so…

Yeh, am hopeless. Its deadline is tomorrow and am still not done. Tis 9:30 in teh evening right now and am without a *mura*ing philo paper. My mother will kill me, no, worse, I will kill myself. Hell. *mura* (I’m positive, I really don’t swear, but with this migraine I have right now, I could really really really not be able to take it and burst in cussing chaos.) 

What’s even worse is that this is supposed to be my one and only (probable) chance to prove myself to my Philo teacher, who by the way is–I forgot the term. I know I argued with myself about this before. I know I considered a word to complete the sentence "Mr. Masakayan is so ____" in absolute conditions before. Gaaad. It’s not "cool" nor is it "cute" (but that could do if not for its local overusage)…

I think it’s "amazing".

"Amazing"?! (*mura*)

Anyway, yeah, he’s amazing. He discusses continually without any form of kodigo in front of the class, maintaining eye contact with all his students. He explains wordily (like I do), but everyone listens since he has that non-demanding aura that brings you to respect him immediately. His voice is soft and calm, and his back slightly arches which I think is due to all the thinking. Plus, he’s young, which explains the millions of fangirls who only squee behind his back and never talk during class. I, on the other hand, like to do both. Heeheeheehee.

But that philo paper–! IT’S ALMOST TEN!!! Gaaah!!! I’m not going to submit this trash I worked for three hours on the steps of third floor Vega Center’s fire exit staircase and vacant floor area! It’s confused and wordy and (me)! I’ll…i’ll…i’ll type the *mura*ing thing.

There will go my dignity. And all the recitation points I’m supposed to get in Philo1 in the future. Agh!

Sad Irish music plays.

I have to have Riverdance up with me in LB. Still, even after three months, I still have not settled. Or if I had, I may just not have realized it or it didn’t make itself be realized by me for some arbitrary reason. There’s something about the people there that resists me. Not that they’re not friendly. They’re friendly, but their friendliness doesn’t really go a long way; it’s like a dozen hi-hello-acquaintances, shallow laughter, daily jokes, and 2-minute conversations. I know it’s not very nice to speak of them this way while I myself am not doing anything about it, but I just don’t understand. I can’t blame it all on my age and all the hormones (but then again) much less the people themselves. I know I have to adapt if I have to, I just don’t know why I can’t or why if I don’t want to.

Ang labo ko talaga.

You must already be sickened by this entry. I should have just kept this to my notebook, but there’s something in me nudging me to share this, my condition.

So how do you characterize self-pity? Is this it? I feel this must be it. I hope it’s just a phase and that it doesn’t grow on me.

Last week, my father told me off and made me realize I was too self-absorbed. It struck me so that I considered stopping my notebook-keeping since it contributed a lot to my condition (if I may call it that). But then I figured what I just needed was some talking–I had to brighten up and loosen these brows which look more tied up right now than ever. And, dem, if not for those really cool drawings in my present notebook, I’d have been really willing to let it go. Dem.

I have to stop here or my brother would literally suck my nose again. Sorry for the depressing post and congrats to the Electron/Banyuhay people to have number-oned the District presscon again, especially to my trainee (I have a trainee!), Micah Lima, who did 2nd in Photography. Yay. Happy Birthday, Nadine.

So I’ve heard. And I woudn’t have heard it if it weren’t for my brother passing onto me barberous news that *NSYNC’s planning to reunite, thereby arousing my interest. Not quite like that; it’s just Lance Bass finally revealing he’s gay, something which has been anticipated for for too long that it kind of lost the potential impact that would have made the news more than a spark. Well, to most, that is. Shame though, I would have liked *NSYNC getting back together. I never felt fangirldom while they’re whole. Now it’s never going to happen. Si Lance kasi eh.

Right now, my whole body is aching like hell. My shoulders feel like they’re dislocated and my legs feel like they’ve suffered horrible poking and pinching. All due to last night’s finals. Ng Club Xientia. I bathed in soy sauce, margarine, and flour. I got shouted at, cussed at, insulted for nothing that’s my fault (except the fact that it was my intention to join the org in the first place). And worst, I got inadequate sleep because everybody was having fun around the videoke machine, and it stood right beside the room where all exhausted people slept. I also got migraine and crystalline stuff that stuck to my scalp. I just hope all these would be gone by the time I wake up tomorrow… and–argh–go back to LB.

I can’t afford to skip my Math and Philo classes anymore, not to mention BioLab. I’m such an irresponsible girl who submits to not leaving the house on Sundays because of the rain (or the geeks) then wakes up late the next day and arrives in LB already missing her first two or three classes. I rarely eat now too. Since the past two weeks had to be spent with focus on applying in the org, I had to spend most of my free time reporting to the members and minding my tickler and I had to return to the dorm for the night at late hours. I expect more tiring times to come, but those in particular were hellish to the point that I even had to visit the hospital.

I don’t want to think about these anymore. But I’d like to thank everyone who were there for support, most especially my adopted older brother Kuya Rain whom I would have liked to see earlier today if not for my condition. Bah! I love you, Kuya Rain! Congrats, TPTS! Belated Happy Birthday, Sabby! I’m sorry I let school distract myself from the fact that you increased in age! I’m not dead!

I know I should have posted this earlier, and that posting it now wouldn’t really get that much attention as I’d have wanted:

The New Worlds Alliance and Fully Booked present:
The First Philippine Graphic/Fiction Awards
July 15, 2006 Rockwell Tent, Power Plant Mall

The New Worlds Alliance, Fully Booked, PLDT MyDSL and Level Up! present:
New Worlds 4: A Broken Time Machine
The Fourth Philippine Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention
July 16, 2006 Rockwell Tent, Power Plant Mall

For more info, visit the NWA website: www.newworlds.ph

NOTE: There are contests with CASH PRIZES such as The Caption Contest. Join, win, and be merry!

Oh, and there are NO ENTRANCE FEES.

.

And this is for the Narnians, to whom I owe alot:

The Philippine Order of Narnians will be participating in the New Worlds 4: A Broken Time Machine - The 4th Philippine Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention on JULY 16, 2006 at the ROCKWELL TENT.

In line with this, TPoN will have several activities at the convention. If you’re coming, be sure to check these out!!!!!!!

1. SCREENING OF THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA FILM ADAPTATIONS
Time: All day
Venue: TPoN Booth (Aslan’s Tent) @ the Convention

Different books of the Chronicles of Narnia have been adapted for film–both live-action and animated–by the BBC and other productions outfits, and yet very few people have ever seen these adaptations. Videos are now available for viewing for thos who simply wish to relive the magic.

**Trailers of the 1997 Trumpets performance of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe will also be shown.

2. PEVENSIE SORTING QUIZ
Time: All day
Venue: TPoN Booth (Aslan’s Tent) @ the Convention

Take a quiz to see which Pevensie sibling you are most like.

3. KNIGHTING OF NARNIAN CITIZENS
Time: All day
Venue: TPoN Booth (Aslan’s Tent) @ the Convention

As a reward for joining the Philippine Order of Narnians, a member of the Order of the Lion shall knight you, to commemorate the occasion of your membership.

4. NARNIA TRIVIA CONTEST
Time: 2:00pm
Venue: Convention Stage

There will be four contestants and only one winner. There are two categories of questions: Easy, covering "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe"; and Hard, covering all seven books of the Chronicles of Narnia.

5. PIN THE TAIL ON THE LION
Time: 11:00am
Venue: Convention Activity Area

Similar to the Pin the Tail on the Donkey, children will be blind-folded and given a tail to pin on the picture of the lion.

6. NARNIA STORYTELLING
Time: 11am
Venue: Convention Activity Area

Excerpts from the books by CS Lewis will be retold by members of TPoN for the audience.

7. CHARACTER SKETCH OF SUSAN PEVENSIE
Time: 3:30pm
Venue: Convention Stage

Marilyn Frisco talks about Susan Pevensie, her character throughout the seven Narnia books, and why she was left behind in the end. Presented by the Renaissance Alternative University in cooperation with TPoN.

(all these taken from the Narnian website: www.filipinonarnians.org)

.

I shall be in both events and at the ingress and hopefully the outgress (<- me ganito, diba?) even if I have a CHEM16 exam the Monday after. I’m doing this for geekdom’s sake! Help me review! Who knows how to compute for half-life (radioactive decay)?!

PS. Wow, Master Rashbold writes for Wikipedia

PPS. Mr. Gaiman remembers us.

PPPS. Belated Happy Birthday, Ate Karen and Gabe! Happy Birthday, Shaira Jayme! Wala akong load pang-greet!

PPPPS. I have grown fat!

Shorts died this morning. It was euthanasia. There was suffering, awareness of the suffering, and killing. Off. Out of compassion.

Shorts never made it to their seventh month with me. They were a great pair, Cris and Alba. Been with me through rough times. Blocked off toxic EDSA noise, the hellish tunes of mass novelty music, got fitted onto more or less fifty pairs of ears, had theirs comfort-bringing parts stripped off and replaced by bandage, provided *NSYNC tunes during a swimming party, fell onto the surface of a canal…

I bought Shorts the afternoon of February 8, after school, accompanied by Kathleen Caranto who was still traumatized by her short pants-wearing incident which involved Crisencio Alba stating that a prom gown of the color pink fits her well. Still disturbed by the encounter, she sarcastically suggested that I give the each of the pair the names Cris and Alba, to be collectively known as Shorts.

(Suddenly, I realize that giving the pair such names would not be of any consolation at all, especially in Ms Caranto’s part. Now I question her intention. But then again, Kathleen Caranto is an exceptionally crazy girl.)

Back then, I still had The Dreaming (accursed blue iPod mini), but eight days later I traded it off for SWAT (also christened by Katz, guess why). The latter and Shorts instantly became an inseparable pair. Or trio. Or foursome along with the white USB cable. Or a delightful set with both the cable and the charger. Or–never mind.

They died of napudpod na wiring, perhaps due to my enthusiastic handling or just plain carelessness. I took the cutter and stripped off its plastic coating at the intersection and saw that the tiny strands of copper wire had been severed by friction. Even if I tried with crude effort to press them back against each other, not a sound can be heard as SWAT continued playing *NSYNC’s "More than a Feeling". Then, I knew that was that.

Sayang, limang daan rin yun.

Eeek.

But six months is a long time enough for a pair of earphones to last. The Chinese ones with imitation packaging only lasts weeks, two months at the most. I’m serious. Do not buy them! (unless you’re really good in caring for these things–)

Yeah, it’s my fault. And I’ve found yet another excuse to get myself a new pair. No!!! Ah. Fifteen perfect quizzes for a new pair. Deal.

I’m ditching my DDC CD. And no Quiapo.

All for Shorts.

This is college me:

- gets hungry every after two hours
- sweats like hell
- gets traumatized by 9/10 Math quizzes or exercises
- favors Lab Chem16 over all other subjects (except Phlo1)
- wakes up at 3:30AM to read Leithold

Holryt!

LB releases the grade conscious creature in me that I have been holding unfree for many years since… first grade. Ah. I heart LB.

And it’s true. Lab Chem16 is FUN! We’ve only had one experiment, but it was cool. Really really cool. There were six stages and in each stage we were to do or add something to a test tube of copper strips that would change its form or phase.  All about physical, chemical change, application of theories but without boredom at all! That is, for me. Eeee.

On the other hand, Humanities 2 sucks like hell. Being forced to draw against your will, to write Weekly Art Experiences (which I somehow fondly call WARTEXes), to be in the company of unartistically inclined loud people, and to hold a reputation in class as the girl who broke some guy’s perfume bottle during the first session don’t really appeal to me.

PE ko PE1. Woo hoo!

I’ve been too charmed by the incentives I give myself (I never gave myself things called incentives before!) Last week, I got too giddy upon getting a perfect score on our first Math quiz, getting things prepared promptly like never before (!) that I…got myself an Outerhope CD. I am not trying to accomplish a new set of things to get myself a DayDreamCycle CD. That means more time with Leithold. And food.

My stomach is the black hole in LB (Matuwa ka, Hana) and my pores are like faucets. And I’m the only girl in our batch (that I know yet) who dresses like a boy.

At night Coheed and Cambria makes me happy, *NSYNC wakes me up in the morning, and Death Cab is bus soundtrack. Photobooth yay!

The street which leads from the main road to UPLB can be considered counterpart of UPD’s shopping center. It’s a long avenue decked with shops quite similar to the shopping center but a lot more in number and variety. Paglabas ng dorm, andun na sa harap mo ang lahat! Mais, cassava chips, xerox, portrait studios, isaw, carinderia, marami pang ibang pagkain…

Ayun. Pagkain.

Yun.

Pagkain.

That’s pretty much it.

My father’s exact words during a conversation with me sparked by a his fascination aver Hannah’s character:

fine arts - magagaling magexecute pero di tumatagal kasi nabobore. technically ang pinakamagaling na fine arts ay sa ust, sa creativity sa up. pero pag me creativity ka na, bat ka maguup?

The Hopia ‘Lympics.

Inimbento noong gabi ng Mayo bente-uno noong tinopak ang mga walang magawang 49 Ricardo kids para mapahagis-hagis ang mga kawawang nabulok na mga hopiang matagal nang nakatago sa kanilang ref.

Modesty aside, ako ang nagpasimuno ng mga dakilang hoipa games na ‘to. Noong mga alas-otso y medya noong gabing yuon, nakaupo ako sa nilabas sa kalsadang foldable chair, nagsusulat (haply possessed again by the influence of Christine del Prado (don’t ask)), dinadaan-daanan ng mga tricycle, at nagutom. Pumasok ako para maghanap ng puwedeng makain sa loob ng ref at nakita ang isa sa mga hindi pa nabubuksang pakete ng hopia. Wow, hopia. Binuksan at kinain, me nalasahang kakaiba, nagsinungaling sa Ate para matikman at madetect ring me problema ang hopia. Tiyak na bulok na nga ang pagkaing mana ng mga Intsik. A spur of the moment act: hinagis ang tirang kalahati sa kahabaan ng kalsada, pa-doon sa me puting van. So dawned the idea.

"Roya, ba’t di ako makukunsiensya pag pinagtatapon ko yung mga hopiang bulok sa kalsada?"

"Ewan ko… kawawa naman. Alam ko, drawingan mo ng pakwan–"

"Alam ko na! Palayuan ng tapon ng hopia!"

*pause*

"Sige!"

Palabas ng bahay, nagkataong nakasalubong si Ateng pabalik na ng kuwarto niya.

"Te, tara! Palayuan ng tapon ng hopia!"

Walang choice si Ate kundi sumama sa amin, at yuon. Yuon. Simula.

…

Malamang ako talo. Kelan pa ba hindi? Ako naman laging nasa huli, huling matapos kumain, kulelat sa racing, pati sa academic achievements walang laban sa kanila. Nakailang rounds rin kami, sa isa pa nga lumabas si Mama at kin-laim ang huling amo-less na hopia, tinalo rin si Roy after his straight winning. 

Siguro nawalan na ng gana, pinropose ni Roy i-change na yung laro into target practice. Kung sino mang nag-coin ng term na Hopia ‘Lympics, hindi talaga alam, pero bet ko si Ate, kasi madaya si Roy. Isang minuto’y nagakapikunan kami’t nagbatuhan ng mga hopia sa mga leeg ng isa’t isa. Ang daya niya kasi eh. Kung paano, huwag mo nang tanungin. Ang ingay rin namin, mga mag-aalas-diyes, nagtitilian parin kami sa labas, kawawang mga kapitbahay. But then again, no.

"Target Practice" (hindi ako nagisip ng title) Simple lang ang rules: from a given distance, i-knock-off ang empty Coke bottle sa upuan gamit ang hopiang panira, tas parang pepsi-seven-up; sa bawat tama, mag-momove back sa susunod na point na nag-iindicate ng panibagong lebel, mas malayo, mas mahirap.

Tumagal-tagal ang laro. Mas maraming tili ang narinig, mga lack of sportsmanship na na-witness, mga tricycle na dumaan, mga hopiang naglanding sa dustpan na me "barbecue sauce", mga styles na inexplore… you get the point. Sa huli, gratefully, tie ang lahat sa level four. Pero, pag kinompute mo yung scores according to how soon we leveled-up, si Ate champion tas ako tas, gratefully, si Roy. Yes! Hindi ako talo!

Tapos, inutusan si Roy ni Mama "Buy Me" daw, at alam nating lahat ang ibig sabihin nun (Sigs). Sinamahan na rin namin ni Ate ang bebe para … ewan. Para masaya? Ewan. Basta, yun nangyari.

Sa intermission na yun (kung matatawag siyang intermission), nauso ang "Credit Card", pag-uubo, paggawa ng mga dikarespe-respetong tunog pagdaan sa me guard, at ang sayaw na Crazy Horse (hehehehe).

Pagbalik, nakalimutan na ang mga hopiang nakakalat sa sahig ng grahe at bumalik sa kanya-kanyang mga mundo. Kawawang mga hopia. Sino kayang kakain sa kanila?

Trivia (I): Habang naglalaro ng Palayuan Ng Tapon Ng Hopia, ang pusa naming puti ang nag-serve na indicator kung nasaan nagland ang hopiang itinapon by turn. Hinahabol niya! Go, pouncing white pretty kitty! Meeeiiww!!!

Trivia (II): Bago matulog (nakitulog si Ate sa kuwarto kasi me flying ipis sa kuwarto niya), nagtext si Patotots kay Ate na dapat nag-Hop(ia)scotch kami. Tas sabi ko, puwede rin sipa (tas nagdemo si Ate), tas sabi ni Ate… eeeh. Nakalimutan ko kung anong sinabi ni Ate. Basta, yun.

Hindi pa po tapos ang Hopia ‘Lympics sa ganung paraan lang sapagkat hindi naman yuon ang huling pakete ng hopiang mabubulok sa ref ng mga taga-49 Ricardo. Mahaba pa ang journey. Marami pang posibilidad na maaaring subukan. Me mga downside lang nga: baka mainteresan naming paglaruan ang iba namang klaseng bulok na pagkain, tulad nalang ng… (hehe) kinalawang nang balikbayan box canned olives, o di naman pandesal na me amag na. Hm.

For comments and suggestions, please email me at crusadeagainstnormality@gmail.com. We would appreciate any –YES ME Y!M NA’KO ULI!!! *cut*

To be continued.

I have not been thinking about much things this summer, so I kind of came up with this new boyband role plan for The Band Formerly Known As pH5, as inspired by my drowning in the ripped *NSYNC songs from the Spazzmaster’s folders and YouTube (so hearths):

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE: Mica Papa

JUSTIFICATION: Most capable of being frontman; Can really sing; Not to mention, most attractive (but that doesn’t mean Justin’s most attractive ._.)

JC CHASEZ: Rachel Miranda

JUSTIFICATION: Also capable of being frontman; Most likely to produce an album composed entirely of songs about sexual intercourse during solo career; Most knowledgeable about the boyband business (huh?); Capable of writing lots of boyband-ish songs

JOEY FATONE: Isa Ulanday

JUSTIFICATION: Since Isa can’t sing, as she admitted, she’s fitting ot have a part whose voice could not be heard at all (hehe). Isa can go to rehab. And have an illegitimate child. Isa is fun.

LANCE BASS: Yours Truly

JUSTIFICATION: Has Teh Gay Bass Voice; Is silent and not very good with the camera; Can secretly be gay; Wants to go to space; Does Band Business stuff and enjoys it; Has, if not equally, bright round eyes (oh, i flatter myself)

CHRIS KIRKPATRICK: Zoe Cunanan

JUSTIFICATION: Is a heck of a prankster; Can make fun of people during interviews; Can do high notes; Can do lots of things with her hair; Can be ethnic

Aaand just in case we’ll take this seriously (I laugh at myself in the back of my mind as I think and put into paper these things), here is a more *cantthinkofanadjective* schedule of boyband activities:

BAND MEET #1: Mainly APPRECIATION

ACTIVITIES: Listening to *NSYNC songs; Lectures on Boyband Basics anf Popslash; Rachel’s JoLa Recruitment Talk; Ripping of music for personal listening

DURATION: 3-5 hours

ADDITIONAL STUFF WHICH ARE REQUIRED: Band name brainstorming; Logo creation; Contributing to lyrics of debut song

BAND MEET#2: Mainly SINGING

ACTIVITIES: Learning all about each’s voice roles; Singing along *NSYNC songs playing; Singing a capella, Introduction to dance, boyband style

DURATION (if you can call it that): Minimum of 4 hours

IT IS ADVISABLE THAT: The session be held in a secluded area, a soundproofed room, or an empty house; There be  much available drinking water; There be good earphones/headsets available (go figure).

BAND MEET #3: Mainly DANCING

ACTIVITIES: Viewing of official, unofficial, and fan videos of *NSYNC dance moves; Dance practice as watched and learned; Collaboration of ideas on choreography for debut song video

DURATION: 3-4 hours

That’s pretty much it. Now reward me, Spazzmaster. I am Teh Perfect Lance. *doesweirdorientalworshipbowsthatmanypeoplegetannoyedwithsendingeyebrowraisedandinsecureeyemovements*

Really.

…

I obviously have nothing to do with my life.

PS. Ate Rizel, if you read this, sasabihin ko lang na hindi kita kinakalimutan, nakakalimutan lang kita ._. Geh. Busy pa ngayon eh, alang araw na Diyan Ka Lang Sa Bahay!/Taong Bahay Ka Ngayon! kaya hindi ako makaupo at makapag-isip kung paano ko ba ipagsasama lahat ng magaganda kong mga impressions sa yo para sa testimonial mo. Sana maintindihan mo. *huhuhuiyak*