Humor in the Third Person Perspective

I spent my last day as a sixteen year old as if it weren’t my last day as a sixteen year old. The day felt normal: the weather sunny, rainy, cloudy like usual, and so did the subjects: fell asleep during Physics time, jumpy during English, no Filipino, Miss Erpelo chatted casually with the class about no significant subjects, disappointed during Chemistry time… it’s all the same.

(You hypocrite.)

But, hey. I did one thing worth to be proud of today: I actually finished answering a Math quiz.

Hooray for me.

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Only a few minutes ago, I was browsing through my old thoughtdumps and was transfixed on the contents in my first Corona. I was an amazing mad 14-year old. Proved by well-constructed curse statements and phrases, I was really an angry disillusioned girl.

So much change in two years time. Yet for the better, I guess.

There is a series of small drawings which I labeled “the different guises of me” on a page at the end of a quarter (of the notebook.) First in the row is a dark hooded figure without a face, probably represents myself as non-existent. Next is a ponytailed girl with a huge smile on her face and her shirt. An arrow said it was my girly self. Goshdarnit, is that how repressed I was? A fragile-looking zip-mouthed girl clad in Scientian uniform stands next, clutching a notebook at her chest. It’s the self I want to eradicate. Stupid pathetic useless passive submissive accursed self. ßOnga no, paano order of adjectives nun?! In the context of grammar, kelan nga ba ginagamit ang passive voice?! Uy! Me group assignment pala kami sa English na ako nanaman ang gagawa! May gash. Anyway, beside the last mentioned is my so-Bianca-called hippie self in tie-dye with fists raised as though in protest. I added a few details to make it look hippie-r (things around the neck). Next is a black-clothed self wearing square glasses, arms crossed, a fist around a pen and the other hand clasping a notebook. I labeled this one “the arrogant hypocrite”. Lastly and quite strangely, is…well, it looks like Jesus Christ only without the beard. *snicker* Ok, please don’t ask me what it means. It may just prove that I was back then a huge fan of, well, philosophical theological spiritual crap…and perhaps of a few Christians.

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*Gack*

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Such a fine notebook, May 6 thoughtdump was. Contained too much spelling in errors though. (I can’t spell ‘conscious’ correctly then! Ha! Shame!)

The notebook-thoughtdump I’m using now is what I should have used for the months of August and September if not for my careless self who left it at the July 31PHP event so to, fortunately, the hands of some respectful PHPers. (Special mention kay Miao na siyang nagtago nito nang ilang buwan, keeping it safe and away from unwelcome readers. Salamat! :D) If not for that misfortune, I’d have recorded the days of August and September better. Those cursed months are the reason why my most-recorded-year-of-my-life table wasn’t completed, disgrace.

Parang ayoko na. Next time nalang. Di naman siya lumabas na espesyal. Parang yung araw ko. Parang yung kawawang scores ko sa peryong nalaman ko lang kanina. Parang yung repulsion ko sa kape na kahit anong gawin ko ay di mapa-reverse, laging iniiwan akong bangag at masakit ang ulo.

Wow. Sensible Filipino words in a blog post. That’s a first. (Is it?)

10:39PM, January 24, 2006. Is this a day well spent?

Ilang awit pa ba ang aawitin o giliw ko?
Ilang ulit pa ba ang uulitin o giliw ko?

That Eraserheads song sung by Kitchie Nadal is … *gurgle*gurgle*

Talk about LSS.

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I amaze myself by writing TWO WHOLE ESSAYS IN ONE DAY!

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I’m pathetic. I’m so backwards. I’m a hypocrite. I deserve to be laughed at. Go on. Go on. Laugh at me. I can’t virtually haul large red-colored rocks at you [as much as I want to]. I accept my weakness. Hehe. Go on.

*Gathers halo-blaks and red paint*

I’m out of my mind.

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I wasn’t able to describe myself comically sarcastically.

I fell asleep in my attempt.

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I like space.

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No, I don’t.

… This is the third time I fail to keep this to myself: Yesterday morning, the jeepney I rode heading towards the MRT station went through Pag-Asa instead of going through its route along Mindanao and North Aves. The driver dropped me off right in front of school. And I paid only P6.00.

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Goodbye.

Oh look it’s :

Lately, I’ve been feeling quite inclined to cuss.

I ‘ve never cussed deliberately and don’t plan ever to.

It seems like it’s been stamped. I’ve gone through 16 years of my life without uttering a swearword at will at isa lang masasabi ko: sayang kung tinigilan ko.

Perhaps you’re wondering how all this could have been.

See, in my early days, our father somehow brainwashed us siblings against the use of foul language to maintain audible peace in the household. Maybe his brainwashing went too far that we’re still programmed up to now.

So during the past years, I used the thesaurus to look for words less foul yet captures the essence of my anger or frustration and so used them instead.

Now I claim that I curse but don’t swear.

But due to still unpondered-upon reasons, the voice in my mind just recently started to cuss. And fiercely too. It’s like an internal revolution. Now I’m worried whether or not I will burst, and if I will, when? Sayang talaga eh.

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Anyway, beside my mind’s voice, Limewire is BAAAD.

What else keeps me going online for unimportant reasons beside this blog?

Ok, Friendster Blogs is BAAAD too, but hey, it’s not exactly its fault because in a way it is not for its sake that I post here. I post here for my loyal devotees (redundancy intended) and their representatives, the comments. *Sigh* The comments. Keep doing BAAAD, readers.

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I have to write a one-whole-intermediate-pad-paper-page-length character sketch of myself for tomorrow. And I have to be partial and truthful and not demeaning.

I can’t do it. Somebody else has to. I don’t want to write flattery about myself (esp. with the use of the words kind, sweet, nice, understanding…) that will be read by everyone! I’d rather write flattery about other people, at least I’m better at that. *Gack* Don’t believe me? All right, then my comically sarcastic manner of describing people helps then.

With which I realize, Why don’t I comically sarcastically describe myself. Sheesh, we’ve had enough of seriousness, I and myself. And I guess with sense as well.

Am slowly losing sense. Am slowly losing sense.

Or maybe I have already lost sense.

Better start now, before I lose it completely.

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Meanwhile, I end this post with this picture: 

  HANAPIN ANG KAMBING

  I woke up 4:10AM to update this blog because I feel like I belong. And because I have a pact with myself that I should be able to complete a whole week’s series of posts. But apparently, that had failed so now I question myself why I’m still typing.

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Ahh, well.

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Hell, I can’t think of anything else to write about.

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Hell, this post is accursed and shall stay that till this blog dies.

Surprisingly this morning, Anna Gee upon our meeting shook my hand which immediately brought me to ask what in hell was up.

AND WHAT IN HELL WAS UP, YOU ASK IN TURN?!?

?*&#@!% ^&%#!!! (As if I do cuss) I passed the ACET! 

I kept repeating soon after, "May future na ‘ko!" And then silently later, "Being a grammar freak does pay!" But that morning, unfortunately was the only exciting part of my day this 9th of January (Happy Birthday, Ate Reitch. You’re nearing 30, it gets scary:D). But that’s only if you don’t consider sitting inside the stifling torture chamber of our school’s conference hall forced to listen to fellow senior students present their headache-causing not to mention tedious research projects with only your new book Good Omens to comfort you as exciting.

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Anyway, yesterday was my third birthday. My second birthday, for those who don’t know is on September 3 which happens to also be the date of the last International Book Fair, the TPON Parchment Summons, and Nadine Talavera’s birthday. My original [and real and only] birthday is on January 25, for all those concerned. And for those who are more concerned, I want nice pigment pens/sign pens (preferrably those with less than .3 tips), camera film, and safety pins to welcome me on my 17th year. Oh yes, and I love you, all of you :D *battingeyelashes*

No pictures this time. Sorry. Maybe next time when the pretty little easy-feature-buttons appear to assist.

I saw The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe yesterday. It was nice to see sitting only about 5-6 meters from the enormous screen. But I’m sure if I sat somewhere farther, I’d have seen more flaws (especially in acting) and would have appreciated it less, taken that I already have sensed flaws in the movie through watching in that condition. I think it lacks detail. I was frustrated with the battle part. I expected the same thing I saw in the LotR movies in their battle scenes: Blood! Gore! Ear-piercing Noise! And most especially, STRATEGY! The nearest thing Narnia got with pre-battle strategic planning was "They’ve an army with numbers far greater than our own" and "Kill them all." :/ Why did Narnia have to put out the spark that is my enthusiasm for battle scenes?!

And if I am not mistaken (yet probably I am due to the seating arrangement in the cinema), Anna Popplewell as Susan was just great. I liked her acting more than I did Georgie Henley’s! Oh, now I can see the problem serious that it is caused by improper seating in cinemas! Nevertheless, if it wasn’t for it, I would not have enjoyed the movie as much as I did then, and after all there was so much free popcorn! (I think we still have leftovers here…)

Glorious glorious popcorn stubs…I knew you were going to be mine. I knew Belay, however hesitant, intended you to come to me as well! I ate 3 boxes of cheese flavored popcorn for that night’s dinner and my fingers were all orangey afterwards. Popcorn is the ultimate saving grace.

I like long entries Too bad this is the longest it can get.

I woke up as early as 3:30AM today my heart pounding in my chest, knowing I was due to perform my Padre Florentino monologue that day yet still hadn’t started on my lines yet. As soon as I seated myself at the desk, I beheld myself writing the monologue continuously. And without much bother about the words I used. (!) (I feel like I deserve a Nobel Prize for it or something) But it doesn’t stop there. Right after I did my script, I got out a piece of white paper and wrote in less than an hour the How Do Filipinos Celebrate Christmas Essay which I had been having trouble to finish, not to mention to start, just yesterday (and I feel like I deserve a medal for that). You may not see it as a huge thing, but it is for me. Also, I admit that I’m shallow.

Anyway, the secret behind my incredibly speedy writing, which I assume astounds only me alone, is my mother’s reading glasses. The black pair. They MAGNIFY They make things appear BIGGER and more FUN…:D

I’m losing my mind.

And myself to the dreadfulclutchesofnormality and inevitablepulltobecominglegal.

<- These are my hands during lunch, the day of our Christmas party. T’was the Ultimate Challenge, eating spaghetti with your hands. I suggest you try it, reader, since you have shown enough determination to visit my blog to have a go at it.

Talking about school’s no fun.

So let’s continue to what I call the fictuous world. The Philippine Order of Narnians in cooperation with the British Council etc. is hosting the opening night of the first movie instalment of the Chronicles of Narnia, The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. TPON is selling tickets for the Shang Cineplex called Lantern seats, which are in other words the less nice seat for a (!) Php200 per ticket. I dare you to make a purchase. After all, there are only a hundred and fifty tickets left. Quite a surprise that the more expensive tickets went much more quickly. Talk about detatchment from the present economic crisis.

Hah! Speaking of prices (and going back to the non-fictuous world), I found out earlier today that the canteen has done a bit of price-hiking last break. Even a mere pack of Oishi Pillows did not escape the value-upgrading. Now, I consider the canteen products The Untouchables. (That doesn’t sound right like it did in my head.)

I feel like ending this post and retreating to bed. Special mention pala kay LAWRENCE na siguro hindi naman mababasa ito. *pat*pat*

Oh, and hello, Kuya Rain! if you have happened to find my blog. *HAAG!*   

Barbero, I say. I only have to be online for an hour, so I have to make the most of it by posting here… erm… since long long ago. I admit that I have grown less the writer that I once considered I was. Now, I can’t seem to string up coherent thoughts to form a sensible article, essay, or whatever literary piece. I still write, nevertheless, but mainly to complain to myself or humor myself. I find it quite a surprise that I’m able to write for other people to read right now.  I hope it lasts.

I have to write a monologue tonight which I also have to memorize by tomorrow 9AM. Don’t be surprised, cramming after all is somewhat a Scientian virtue. I also have to write an essay about how Filipinos celebrate Christmas, which I should have finished during the Christmas break if not for my being informed of it late…

I have to finish this post in five minutes and start studying my character who by the way is a priest neither sickly nor wretched. Sad.

So I spent my New Year at my mother’s brother’s residence. As soon as the first minute of January 1 struck, —- (shooed away by my mother howfastdofiveminutesgo)